Hello, all.
It's been awhile. A quick recap of my last couple of months will really only distinguish one thing: I'm getting married.
That's right, the boyfriend finally popped the question, and I couldn't be more excited. But amidst all of the post engagement chatter and shopping carts filled with bridal magazines, it becomes so easy to lose sight of what the greatest part of getting married is: getting to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.
A lot of people don't understand the rush to get married so young. One of my friends was in town a couple weeks ago, and she made the comment that we were the only ones from our old friends group who understood what it was like. And that made me so sad. Why should getting married be considered "wasting your young adult life"? Why do people outside of my Christian bubble think of getting married at 20 like losing your favorite childhood dog? Getting married doesn't signal the end of the "fun era" of your life, it signals the beginning of something so much more.
These are some of my top reasons that getting married young is actually the greatest thing I have done thus far...
1. Never having to say goodbye: One of the hardest points in my relationship with my fiancé has been having to say goodbye to him. As our schedules got busier and real jobs get began, finding that quiet time to ourselves became harder. At one point, we both lived on campus and could walk outside our dorms to see each other. Now we are separated by more than just a few feet. He got a job as a teacher and coach, so he is always shuffling between his hometown and where I live. That's about forty minutes apart. Add my own work and volleyball schedule to that, and it sometimes becomes very hard to get in the quality time that we once had. This is exactly why I am so excited that once we are married, I'll never have to say goodbye and wonder if I am going to see him soon. Because he'll have to come back and see me. At least if he wants dinner, he will.
2. Growing old together: I want to be that couple that people see walking down the street and suddenly let out a soft romantic sigh. I want people to gasp at how long my fiancé and I are married. I want to be one of those 50 year couples. I have found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, so why should I wait another 5-10 years like society tells me to, just for the sake of being a "career woman"? I am already empowered, but it's not by some executive career; it's by my fiancé. I want to grow old with him in a timeless and romantic way; the way where you wake up to the same pair of eyes when you're 20, 50, and 70.
3. Being young together: In the same way that we are going to grow old together, we are going to experience youth together. While a lot of people think getting married young means forgoing your right to travel the world, go out with friends, or stay up all night just because you can, it simply means that you get to do that with your best friend and love of your life. Whenever you want. I get to stand under the Eiffel Tower with the love of my life at 25 years old, then come back home and still feel like we're in the City of Love. We can go to Mexico, get lost in the jungle, and laugh about it for the next 50 years. "Remember that one time in Mexico when…" or "Remember the time we stayed up to watch the sunrise, and you still had to go to work…" I look forward to the stories we're going to tell our kids. Just because we are married doesn't mean we aren't young and spirited anymore. The difference is that there's no waning in affection, no dimming in love because this person isn't just a fling. They're your spouse, and they're here for life. I also don't have to wait until I'm 30 or 40 to see these things with a person who actually means something. I didn't spend my youth building my career like society told me to; I spent it building my marriage.
4. Trading in ambiguous texts for handwritten love letters: In high school, I thought it was so much fun to try and decode some obscure and, truthfully, noncommittal text from a guy I had a crush on. But it never failed that when it took them two hours to text back "yeah lol" my stomach would drop and make me want to try even harder. A lot of guys think that they can off-handedly text a girl and treat her like crap in the hopes of "getting some". Because girls love a bad boy who doesn't care, right? Wrong. No matter what a girl says, she doesn't actually want a guy who is going to blow her off for their "friend" or skip paying the tab on their first "date". Girls may say that they want a guy who doesn't care, but the reality is that girls want a guy who doesn't care for anyone except them. By trading in this tacky and childish tradition for a long life of heartfelt love letters on anniversaries, good morning kisses instead of texts, and endless memories made picking out our first house, having our first baby, or buying our first car, I'm trading in a lusty meaningless relationship for an enduring, loving relationship.
5. You can't fight over what you don't have: They say the leading cause in divorce is financial trouble. They also say that when you first start out, you have no money. Add that to the fact we're in our early twenties, and you bet that you have a very tight budget. Like, tighter than a college kid's budget. But if we don't have money, we don't have something to argue over. There's no deception and confusion over why he spent $200 last weekend at a place called "Trixie's" just like there's no cause for him to get mad at a credit card bill for $200 at Sephora or Coach. There's no fighting over what I make versus what he makes. We aren't going to have a bunch of money starting out, and even after that, it's going to take a long time before we are comfortable. A lot of people couldn't do that. But I'm not marrying him for his money or because he can provide a comfortable, lavish life. I'm marrying him because I love the way he makes me laugh, the kindness of his heart, and the unforgettable way that he never lets me go a day without telling me how special I am. I'm marrying a human being, not a credit card.
While these are not the only reasons I am getting married young, they're some of my favorites. I could come up with a million other reasons that I am marrying my fiancé specifically, but I'd hate to make this too mushy. The bottom line is that getting married young is too often just written off as a foolish life choice. But to me, it makes the most sense.
After you have found Prince Charming, why wait to start your happily ever after?
