Okay, so it's day one. Your parents just dropped you off at your new (to you) dorm, and you have two car loads of various items that were conveniently located in the "College" section of Bed, Bath, and Beyond. You guys certainly went for the "beyond" part of the whole experience. Who REALLY needs a purple I-pod shower dock? But hey, you're a freshman, so what else were you going to do with all of that grad money that your relatives sent you?
Certainly not save it, that's for sure!
Fast forward through "Welcome Week" where the level of "I'm smiling this big because I'm no longer in high school" was at an all-time high and your cares were at an all-time low. You consider joining a sorority. You love that floral has basically been vomited all over everything on Greek Row. You went to your first official lecture as a college kid! Yay! You even took hand-written notes! You turned your nose up at the sophomore sitting next to you that dabbled on Facebook for the entire fifty-minutes of awesome your professor had prepared for you today! You took notes on the syllabus that was promptly handed to you, and you stuck it in that nice new binder you already pre-labeled for class.
COLLEGE IS SO FUN.
But then it's finals week, and you have spent way too few hours actually studying for your Intro to Lit final tomorrow morning and way too many hours flirting with the guy who eats lunch at the same tree that you do. So you sit down in a quiet room far, far away from your friends and TV. This is it; you're going to spend the next 7 hours studying! Look, I'm being a real college student!
And then... he texts you. Wanna grab Taco Bell?
You hate Taco Bell! You need to study! But he's just so cute!
You feel horrible about yourself the next week as you're moving out of your dorm for Christmas break. You failed Intro to Lit. How do you fail Intro to Lit? You swear off men next semester. Yes, that's it! A total no-men cleanse! What an awesome plan!
Except you totally don't swear off men at all. In fact, you get a boyfriend next semester! Cute tree guy just became cute tree boyfriend. Man, you are one lucky girl! He's president of the Recycling For Life club. Obviously, you join too. You've never recycled anything in your entire life, and sometimes you set your empty Sonic cups outside your car in the parking lot when no one is looking, but what does that even matter? You joined your first club! With your first college boyfriend!
Fast forward to finals week of fall semester your sophomore year. You can't eat. You can't sleep. You certainly can't study. Cute tree boyfriend just broke up with you. OVER TEXT. For that hipster girl from down the hall that just started the End Campus Violence movement on your campus. So now you're heartbroken, alone, and hungry. Oh, and you have a huge Business Management final tomorrow. You could suck it up and study. Or... you could run down the hall and toilet paper hipster girl's room...
So you ended up in a total, all-out hall feud with hipster girl second semester. It's really no big deal that you walked into a pile of dog crap outside your door before your 8am is it? Or that she somehow managed to lock you into your bathroom via the two way doors to your room and your suitemate's that only locks the bathroom from the outside. It's totally fine that she invites Cute Tree Ex-Boyfriend over every time she knows you're staying in for the night. Whatever, right?
You're switching halls next year anyway.
Junior year. Crazy! How did you get to be so old? Weren't you, like, just a freshman? Actually, yeah! But then you blinked, and suddenly your GPA that started at a nice 4.0 has dropped to an astonishing 2.6. Your parents are furious, your scholarships have been ripped away, and you're suddenly worried about your grad-school dreams. That's it! You're hitting the books. No more laziness. No more petty feuds. That's for underclassmen, anyway. You're going to do this.
And then right before mid-terms, you get a job! Your first job in college! You are tired of caf food and clothes that have gotten (suspiciously) too tight. You want money. So, you march right into the closest Starbucks to campus and demand they honor your excellent achievements with a job. Or... you walk in and nervously hand them your application that you spent two hours neatly filling out in black ink that you made sure not to smudge. So what if you had to blow dry the paper at certain points? You wait while the bottom-of-the-totem-pole employee delivers it to the manager on duty. The manager, scowling and oddly out of breath, tells you that you're hired and you start immediately.
COOL! Who knew getting a job would be so easy! You have no clue why people complain about getting a job!
So you got a job, and you are trying so hard to balance out school and work, but it's just so hard! You have no idea why you thought it would be a good idea to rush your sorority freshman year, but you're missing all of these events, and you haven't paid your dues in like forever, so you think you might be on probation. But that doesn't even matter because you just started talking to your cute coworker, and you're worried that he might blow you off again. His grandmother had a toe rash last weekend, so he nursed her back to health on a Saturday night like any good grandson would. What a sweetheart.
Second semester, you're totally dating. Well, kind of. He calls you every couple of weeks to see if you might want to "hangout" if his friends don't come over. You haven't actually been on a real sit-down date, but you think he might make it FBO soon, so you don't question him. Your grades are okay. C is passing, so that's good. Your professors and you have an unspoken agreement where they won't call on you if you will give them good evaluations at the end of the year. It's just easier on everyone that way. Except your crazy Am Lit professor. The woman calls on you EVERY CLASS PERIOD. Like, you actually have to study for that class; it's so stupid. On the other hand, you have learned more about Post-Civil War America than you did in your entire high school experience. You actually might make it out with an A in that class! Go you!
You decide to get an apartment for your last year of college! Your newly bestowed senior status basically requires that you take this plunge, and Pinterest the crap out of some tiny, hole-in-the-wall campus apartment! You love your roommates (for now), and you think you might get a cat! What could be better?
YOU HATE YOUR ROOMMATES! You basically live with Chuckie and his Bride. You try to spend as much time at your parents house as possible to avoid contact with these two, but you swear it's like avoiding Trump while flipping through your TV channels. You decide that the only way to survive is to move home after first semester. Only 96 days until you live with your parents again. Oh, yay.
You have really been kicking your classes' butts this semester. You have A's in nearly all of them, and life is really looking up. You ditched Starbucks guy- he had like 3 side chicks. You found cute library boy instead. He even took you out on a real date where they serve more than just beer and appetizers! And he paid! What crazy world is this?! Aside from your roommate situation, things couldn't be any better.
And then you move home.
Just when life was going great, you moved back in with your parents. You forgot that they turn all the lights off at 9:00pm, and they don't keep copious amounts of studying (junk) food laying around. They tell you that your dirty laundry piles don't bother them, but you know it does, so you feel the need to actually do your laundry on a regular basis. And workout. Your mom goes to like 5 classes at the local Y a week, which totally makes you feel like a slob in comparison. You worked out once your freshman year, right? You start going to class with her so you don't get shown up by a 50-year-old woman. But then you get to her class and realize that you're not about to get shown up; you're about to get dominated. These woman are animals!
You are wrapping up all of your classes, just waiting for Graduation like it's your end-all-be-all. You are so over school, and you're ready to make that crazy move two states over to take a job offer. You can't believe that someone actually offered you a job. You, of all people! Cute Library Boy is moving too. Except, his name is Jake. He's pretty cool.
So here you are, on Graduation Day, and you're standing in line to receive your diploma. It's actually just an empty folder, which is totally deceiving. You'd think they could actually give that piece of paper to you instead of mailing it weeks later. You are remembering all of these crazy moments from the last four years. You remember the first boy that broke your heart. You remember all the stupid fights you got into. You remember all the pranks that were pulled. You remember that teacher that actually cared if you passed or failed. You remember the sleepless nights and hours spent studying (or avoiding studying). You remember your first job, and how it felt to be a part of the "working world." You remember your first apartment. You remember failing and coming back home to mom and dad. But mostly, you remember that first day. You remember looking around your empty dorm room and thinking, "Gosh, this is it! This is college!"
But what you felt then? It's nothing to what you are feeling now. You're standing up on stage, and they read your name. They read your name, and your family stands up and applauds you. Your grandmother that never made it farther than 8th grade is beaming at you. Your mom that couldn't afford to go to college has tears in her eyes. Your father that was just 25 credits away from graduating is clapping as loud as he can, so obviously proud. You look at your support system, the people that have pushed you to be your very best. They have shaped you, and they have made you what you are at that very moment. You think of all that they wanted to achieve and all that they didn't. You think of all that you have achieved, and all that you still will.
Even though those four years dragged on so painfully slow, you still cherish them. You love it all: the good, the bad, the very bad. You are thankful for the hard times because they made you work that much harder. You cherish the good times because it was proof that the sun will eventually shine.
And you think, "Gosh, that was it. That was college."
Friday, May 6, 2016
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Ding, dong, I hear graduation bells?
Well, hello there!
It's been, what, a year?
Basically, I disappeared from cyberspace. And during my extended leave of absence from this oh-so-happy writing space, what was I doing other than being perfectly, blissfully, happily engaged? Why, finishing up my senior year OF COLLEGE of course! The last nine months have been a hurricane of internships, grad applications, mega huge papers, and writing portfolios! But, as of today, I AM OFFICIALLY FINISHED!
With undergrad classes, that is...
So yes, another huge change in my life: looks like I'm going to grad school, y'all!
And not just for anything. I am going for a Masters in Library Science. That's right; I'm going to be the next hush-up or put-up librarian in a small town where my fiancé works!
Basically, I get to smell old books all day long, and I am so stinking jazzed.
I get paid to hangout with all the greats (Tennyson, Poe, Wollstonecraft) and all the up-an-comers (Ransom Riggs, Maggie Stiefvater, Rainbow Rowell)!
In any event, graduating means more time for myself. Which means more time for reading. And writing. And blogging. And writing about blogging.
Until we meet again, I'll be between the books!
It's been, what, a year?
Basically, I disappeared from cyberspace. And during my extended leave of absence from this oh-so-happy writing space, what was I doing other than being perfectly, blissfully, happily engaged? Why, finishing up my senior year OF COLLEGE of course! The last nine months have been a hurricane of internships, grad applications, mega huge papers, and writing portfolios! But, as of today, I AM OFFICIALLY FINISHED!
With undergrad classes, that is...
So yes, another huge change in my life: looks like I'm going to grad school, y'all!
And not just for anything. I am going for a Masters in Library Science. That's right; I'm going to be the next hush-up or put-up librarian in a small town where my fiancé works!
Basically, I get to smell old books all day long, and I am so stinking jazzed.
I get paid to hangout with all the greats (Tennyson, Poe, Wollstonecraft) and all the up-an-comers (Ransom Riggs, Maggie Stiefvater, Rainbow Rowell)!
In any event, graduating means more time for myself. Which means more time for reading. And writing. And blogging. And writing about blogging.
Until we meet again, I'll be between the books!
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Because sometimes happiness is an extra piece of cake...
I have always struggled with body image.
It started in middle school, when I had to constantly worry about fitting into a cheerleading uniform like all of my perfectly skinny friends. At that point in my life, I was making perhaps the worst dietary choices I have made thus far in my life. We're talking ramen noodles and Cosmic brownies everyday after school, with Dr. Pepper to go with every meal. Amazingly enough, I was also the smallest I have ever been. But when you do gymnastics, volleyball, cheerleading, and track all at once, that's to be expected.
But those years did more damage to my idea of a healthy lifestyle than my fit physique would portray.
Essentially, those years instilled the idea that my metabolism would forever be that superhuman, and that I could eat whatever the heck I wanted and never gain weight from it. Unfortunately, the only girls that this actually applies to are a small percentage of girls who end up gracing the runways. They're printed in the Victoria's Secret catalogs that we all keep around for fitness inspiration. They're the girls that we see at the beach, and we wonder how their life could get any more perfect.
But I'm here to tell you that it doesn't matter if you are 300, 150, or 90 pounds: chances are that you have, at some point, struggled with body image.
And why?
Why do women determine beauty by the appreciation we get over our body? Does it tell us we're pretty? Does it make people like us? More importantly, does it make God love us any more if we're skinny rather than fat.
NO. NO. NO.
In high school, I struggled for a very long time trying to get all of the guys in my class to like me by literally limiting my calorie intake to about 800 a day. It started my freshman year when one of the senior guys that my friends hung out with called me a "belephant" behind my back. And of course, my 14 year old self thought that was the end of the world. So I started running on the rickety treadmill in our basement where no one could see me feel ashamed of myself. Keeping in mind that I now only played volleyball, of course I had gained some weight. I mean, did you not read what I was putting in my body? But once I got on that kick, I cut everything out in the most unhealthy way. I drank a Special K protein shake in the morning. I had a Special K meal replacement bar at lunch, and then usually soup for dinner. I was constantly tired and irritable. I was angry with my friends for hanging around with those guys. I was annoyed that they were all so skinny and pretty. Not once did I ever focus on the positive parts of my life. Instead, I was filled with negativity. I just wanted to sleep all the time so I wouldn't have to deal with fixing my body. Though never diagnosed, I had all the symptoms of mild depression: sadness, low self-esteem, apathy, little appetite, and constant fatigue. When you clean up your lifestyle, it's supposed to make you feel better. You're supposed to have more energy. But I wasn't feeding my body the food that it needed to function properly. I was damaging it even further.
These habits continued throughout most of my high school years. Some of the guys who used to be my friends would go on to make horrible comments to OTHER GUYS THAT I HAD ALSO BEEN FRIENDS WITH. Comments such as "guys, look who's eating again," when I ate my already small meal during our last hour because I had skipped lunch earlier. Words like that are the reason that girls do this. Why did I even want their approval if they would treat me like that? I wasn't even fat. I weighed 135 pounds at 5'7. But I was muscular and I didn't have a flat tummy like all of my friends, so that guess that made me an accessible target? The girl whose only fault was not being born with better, skinnier genetics. I was already practically starving myself, what more did they want?
Luckily, I have always had a strong sense of independence. Pretty soon after those comments, I realized that I just didn't care. People who would turn on me like that were never my friends. They were people that I didn't need in my life. It's so hard to see that as a teenager just trying to fit in. During a time when you just want everyone to accept you, being rejected is the hardest thing to deal with.
But I did.
And I'm here to tell you that even today, I don't have a perfect body. I have extra in places society tells me not to. I can't eat whatever I want to and not see the consequences of it. But I'm happy. I no longer workout because I want people to like me and accept me, I workout because it makes me feel better. I eat better because it makes my body feel better. I don't drink soda because it makes me feel sluggish. All of these things I have changed, but not for anyone else. I made these changes because they make my body feel better, stronger, and more energized. That doesn't mean that I don't have cake, or in my case, frosting. Every once in awhile, of course! You shouldn't have to deny yourself of the things you love because you want to attain a certain image. That's not healthy at all. So yes, you can eat a piece of cake every once in awhile instead of planning your day around avoiding that bakery on the corner. I will never again let someone's words push me to the point of hating myself and damaging my body.
As long as I'm happy with my body, what does it matter what anyone else thinks? They don't have to live in here; I do.
In the meantime, I'll be eating cream cheese frosting and not feeling bad about it.
It started in middle school, when I had to constantly worry about fitting into a cheerleading uniform like all of my perfectly skinny friends. At that point in my life, I was making perhaps the worst dietary choices I have made thus far in my life. We're talking ramen noodles and Cosmic brownies everyday after school, with Dr. Pepper to go with every meal. Amazingly enough, I was also the smallest I have ever been. But when you do gymnastics, volleyball, cheerleading, and track all at once, that's to be expected.
But those years did more damage to my idea of a healthy lifestyle than my fit physique would portray.
Essentially, those years instilled the idea that my metabolism would forever be that superhuman, and that I could eat whatever the heck I wanted and never gain weight from it. Unfortunately, the only girls that this actually applies to are a small percentage of girls who end up gracing the runways. They're printed in the Victoria's Secret catalogs that we all keep around for fitness inspiration. They're the girls that we see at the beach, and we wonder how their life could get any more perfect.
But I'm here to tell you that it doesn't matter if you are 300, 150, or 90 pounds: chances are that you have, at some point, struggled with body image.
And why?
Why do women determine beauty by the appreciation we get over our body? Does it tell us we're pretty? Does it make people like us? More importantly, does it make God love us any more if we're skinny rather than fat.
NO. NO. NO.
In high school, I struggled for a very long time trying to get all of the guys in my class to like me by literally limiting my calorie intake to about 800 a day. It started my freshman year when one of the senior guys that my friends hung out with called me a "belephant" behind my back. And of course, my 14 year old self thought that was the end of the world. So I started running on the rickety treadmill in our basement where no one could see me feel ashamed of myself. Keeping in mind that I now only played volleyball, of course I had gained some weight. I mean, did you not read what I was putting in my body? But once I got on that kick, I cut everything out in the most unhealthy way. I drank a Special K protein shake in the morning. I had a Special K meal replacement bar at lunch, and then usually soup for dinner. I was constantly tired and irritable. I was angry with my friends for hanging around with those guys. I was annoyed that they were all so skinny and pretty. Not once did I ever focus on the positive parts of my life. Instead, I was filled with negativity. I just wanted to sleep all the time so I wouldn't have to deal with fixing my body. Though never diagnosed, I had all the symptoms of mild depression: sadness, low self-esteem, apathy, little appetite, and constant fatigue. When you clean up your lifestyle, it's supposed to make you feel better. You're supposed to have more energy. But I wasn't feeding my body the food that it needed to function properly. I was damaging it even further.
These habits continued throughout most of my high school years. Some of the guys who used to be my friends would go on to make horrible comments to OTHER GUYS THAT I HAD ALSO BEEN FRIENDS WITH. Comments such as "guys, look who's eating again," when I ate my already small meal during our last hour because I had skipped lunch earlier. Words like that are the reason that girls do this. Why did I even want their approval if they would treat me like that? I wasn't even fat. I weighed 135 pounds at 5'7. But I was muscular and I didn't have a flat tummy like all of my friends, so that guess that made me an accessible target? The girl whose only fault was not being born with better, skinnier genetics. I was already practically starving myself, what more did they want?
Luckily, I have always had a strong sense of independence. Pretty soon after those comments, I realized that I just didn't care. People who would turn on me like that were never my friends. They were people that I didn't need in my life. It's so hard to see that as a teenager just trying to fit in. During a time when you just want everyone to accept you, being rejected is the hardest thing to deal with.
But I did.
And I'm here to tell you that even today, I don't have a perfect body. I have extra in places society tells me not to. I can't eat whatever I want to and not see the consequences of it. But I'm happy. I no longer workout because I want people to like me and accept me, I workout because it makes me feel better. I eat better because it makes my body feel better. I don't drink soda because it makes me feel sluggish. All of these things I have changed, but not for anyone else. I made these changes because they make my body feel better, stronger, and more energized. That doesn't mean that I don't have cake, or in my case, frosting. Every once in awhile, of course! You shouldn't have to deny yourself of the things you love because you want to attain a certain image. That's not healthy at all. So yes, you can eat a piece of cake every once in awhile instead of planning your day around avoiding that bakery on the corner. I will never again let someone's words push me to the point of hating myself and damaging my body.
As long as I'm happy with my body, what does it matter what anyone else thinks? They don't have to live in here; I do.
In the meantime, I'll be eating cream cheese frosting and not feeling bad about it.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Because wedding bells ring louder than a late-night call...
Hello, all.
It's been awhile. A quick recap of my last couple of months will really only distinguish one thing: I'm getting married.
That's right, the boyfriend finally popped the question, and I couldn't be more excited. But amidst all of the post engagement chatter and shopping carts filled with bridal magazines, it becomes so easy to lose sight of what the greatest part of getting married is: getting to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.
A lot of people don't understand the rush to get married so young. One of my friends was in town a couple weeks ago, and she made the comment that we were the only ones from our old friends group who understood what it was like. And that made me so sad. Why should getting married be considered "wasting your young adult life"? Why do people outside of my Christian bubble think of getting married at 20 like losing your favorite childhood dog? Getting married doesn't signal the end of the "fun era" of your life, it signals the beginning of something so much more.
These are some of my top reasons that getting married young is actually the greatest thing I have done thus far...
1. Never having to say goodbye: One of the hardest points in my relationship with my fiancé has been having to say goodbye to him. As our schedules got busier and real jobs get began, finding that quiet time to ourselves became harder. At one point, we both lived on campus and could walk outside our dorms to see each other. Now we are separated by more than just a few feet. He got a job as a teacher and coach, so he is always shuffling between his hometown and where I live. That's about forty minutes apart. Add my own work and volleyball schedule to that, and it sometimes becomes very hard to get in the quality time that we once had. This is exactly why I am so excited that once we are married, I'll never have to say goodbye and wonder if I am going to see him soon. Because he'll have to come back and see me. At least if he wants dinner, he will.
2. Growing old together: I want to be that couple that people see walking down the street and suddenly let out a soft romantic sigh. I want people to gasp at how long my fiancé and I are married. I want to be one of those 50 year couples. I have found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, so why should I wait another 5-10 years like society tells me to, just for the sake of being a "career woman"? I am already empowered, but it's not by some executive career; it's by my fiancé. I want to grow old with him in a timeless and romantic way; the way where you wake up to the same pair of eyes when you're 20, 50, and 70.
3. Being young together: In the same way that we are going to grow old together, we are going to experience youth together. While a lot of people think getting married young means forgoing your right to travel the world, go out with friends, or stay up all night just because you can, it simply means that you get to do that with your best friend and love of your life. Whenever you want. I get to stand under the Eiffel Tower with the love of my life at 25 years old, then come back home and still feel like we're in the City of Love. We can go to Mexico, get lost in the jungle, and laugh about it for the next 50 years. "Remember that one time in Mexico when…" or "Remember the time we stayed up to watch the sunrise, and you still had to go to work…" I look forward to the stories we're going to tell our kids. Just because we are married doesn't mean we aren't young and spirited anymore. The difference is that there's no waning in affection, no dimming in love because this person isn't just a fling. They're your spouse, and they're here for life. I also don't have to wait until I'm 30 or 40 to see these things with a person who actually means something. I didn't spend my youth building my career like society told me to; I spent it building my marriage.
4. Trading in ambiguous texts for handwritten love letters: In high school, I thought it was so much fun to try and decode some obscure and, truthfully, noncommittal text from a guy I had a crush on. But it never failed that when it took them two hours to text back "yeah lol" my stomach would drop and make me want to try even harder. A lot of guys think that they can off-handedly text a girl and treat her like crap in the hopes of "getting some". Because girls love a bad boy who doesn't care, right? Wrong. No matter what a girl says, she doesn't actually want a guy who is going to blow her off for their "friend" or skip paying the tab on their first "date". Girls may say that they want a guy who doesn't care, but the reality is that girls want a guy who doesn't care for anyone except them. By trading in this tacky and childish tradition for a long life of heartfelt love letters on anniversaries, good morning kisses instead of texts, and endless memories made picking out our first house, having our first baby, or buying our first car, I'm trading in a lusty meaningless relationship for an enduring, loving relationship.
5. You can't fight over what you don't have: They say the leading cause in divorce is financial trouble. They also say that when you first start out, you have no money. Add that to the fact we're in our early twenties, and you bet that you have a very tight budget. Like, tighter than a college kid's budget. But if we don't have money, we don't have something to argue over. There's no deception and confusion over why he spent $200 last weekend at a place called "Trixie's" just like there's no cause for him to get mad at a credit card bill for $200 at Sephora or Coach. There's no fighting over what I make versus what he makes. We aren't going to have a bunch of money starting out, and even after that, it's going to take a long time before we are comfortable. A lot of people couldn't do that. But I'm not marrying him for his money or because he can provide a comfortable, lavish life. I'm marrying him because I love the way he makes me laugh, the kindness of his heart, and the unforgettable way that he never lets me go a day without telling me how special I am. I'm marrying a human being, not a credit card.
While these are not the only reasons I am getting married young, they're some of my favorites. I could come up with a million other reasons that I am marrying my fiancé specifically, but I'd hate to make this too mushy. The bottom line is that getting married young is too often just written off as a foolish life choice. But to me, it makes the most sense.
After you have found Prince Charming, why wait to start your happily ever after?
It's been awhile. A quick recap of my last couple of months will really only distinguish one thing: I'm getting married.
That's right, the boyfriend finally popped the question, and I couldn't be more excited. But amidst all of the post engagement chatter and shopping carts filled with bridal magazines, it becomes so easy to lose sight of what the greatest part of getting married is: getting to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.
A lot of people don't understand the rush to get married so young. One of my friends was in town a couple weeks ago, and she made the comment that we were the only ones from our old friends group who understood what it was like. And that made me so sad. Why should getting married be considered "wasting your young adult life"? Why do people outside of my Christian bubble think of getting married at 20 like losing your favorite childhood dog? Getting married doesn't signal the end of the "fun era" of your life, it signals the beginning of something so much more.
These are some of my top reasons that getting married young is actually the greatest thing I have done thus far...
1. Never having to say goodbye: One of the hardest points in my relationship with my fiancé has been having to say goodbye to him. As our schedules got busier and real jobs get began, finding that quiet time to ourselves became harder. At one point, we both lived on campus and could walk outside our dorms to see each other. Now we are separated by more than just a few feet. He got a job as a teacher and coach, so he is always shuffling between his hometown and where I live. That's about forty minutes apart. Add my own work and volleyball schedule to that, and it sometimes becomes very hard to get in the quality time that we once had. This is exactly why I am so excited that once we are married, I'll never have to say goodbye and wonder if I am going to see him soon. Because he'll have to come back and see me. At least if he wants dinner, he will.
2. Growing old together: I want to be that couple that people see walking down the street and suddenly let out a soft romantic sigh. I want people to gasp at how long my fiancé and I are married. I want to be one of those 50 year couples. I have found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, so why should I wait another 5-10 years like society tells me to, just for the sake of being a "career woman"? I am already empowered, but it's not by some executive career; it's by my fiancé. I want to grow old with him in a timeless and romantic way; the way where you wake up to the same pair of eyes when you're 20, 50, and 70.
3. Being young together: In the same way that we are going to grow old together, we are going to experience youth together. While a lot of people think getting married young means forgoing your right to travel the world, go out with friends, or stay up all night just because you can, it simply means that you get to do that with your best friend and love of your life. Whenever you want. I get to stand under the Eiffel Tower with the love of my life at 25 years old, then come back home and still feel like we're in the City of Love. We can go to Mexico, get lost in the jungle, and laugh about it for the next 50 years. "Remember that one time in Mexico when…" or "Remember the time we stayed up to watch the sunrise, and you still had to go to work…" I look forward to the stories we're going to tell our kids. Just because we are married doesn't mean we aren't young and spirited anymore. The difference is that there's no waning in affection, no dimming in love because this person isn't just a fling. They're your spouse, and they're here for life. I also don't have to wait until I'm 30 or 40 to see these things with a person who actually means something. I didn't spend my youth building my career like society told me to; I spent it building my marriage.
4. Trading in ambiguous texts for handwritten love letters: In high school, I thought it was so much fun to try and decode some obscure and, truthfully, noncommittal text from a guy I had a crush on. But it never failed that when it took them two hours to text back "yeah lol" my stomach would drop and make me want to try even harder. A lot of guys think that they can off-handedly text a girl and treat her like crap in the hopes of "getting some". Because girls love a bad boy who doesn't care, right? Wrong. No matter what a girl says, she doesn't actually want a guy who is going to blow her off for their "friend" or skip paying the tab on their first "date". Girls may say that they want a guy who doesn't care, but the reality is that girls want a guy who doesn't care for anyone except them. By trading in this tacky and childish tradition for a long life of heartfelt love letters on anniversaries, good morning kisses instead of texts, and endless memories made picking out our first house, having our first baby, or buying our first car, I'm trading in a lusty meaningless relationship for an enduring, loving relationship.
5. You can't fight over what you don't have: They say the leading cause in divorce is financial trouble. They also say that when you first start out, you have no money. Add that to the fact we're in our early twenties, and you bet that you have a very tight budget. Like, tighter than a college kid's budget. But if we don't have money, we don't have something to argue over. There's no deception and confusion over why he spent $200 last weekend at a place called "Trixie's" just like there's no cause for him to get mad at a credit card bill for $200 at Sephora or Coach. There's no fighting over what I make versus what he makes. We aren't going to have a bunch of money starting out, and even after that, it's going to take a long time before we are comfortable. A lot of people couldn't do that. But I'm not marrying him for his money or because he can provide a comfortable, lavish life. I'm marrying him because I love the way he makes me laugh, the kindness of his heart, and the unforgettable way that he never lets me go a day without telling me how special I am. I'm marrying a human being, not a credit card.
While these are not the only reasons I am getting married young, they're some of my favorites. I could come up with a million other reasons that I am marrying my fiancé specifically, but I'd hate to make this too mushy. The bottom line is that getting married young is too often just written off as a foolish life choice. But to me, it makes the most sense.
After you have found Prince Charming, why wait to start your happily ever after?
Monday, April 6, 2015
Because I refuse to let my beliefs remain under attack...
Hello, all.
I have not yet shared my faith on social media, something that I should have changed about my social media outreach long ago. However, there is presently an issue that has been weighing very heavily on my heart. By now, many people are familiar with an issue plaguing various parts of the country currently: the issue of repealing the amendment that states that a homosexual may not be turned down for a job by a private or religious institution. Another popular feature of this amendment is that it allows men who sexually identify themselves as a woman may use the women's restroom and vice versa. The pro-repeal group seeks to repeal this amendment that has been set in place, giving back the religious freedom to those private institutions and those who feel uncomfortable with the opposite sex in the bathroom. The anti-repeal group argues that repealing the amendment would be discrimination against homosexuals. The vote takes place tomorrow, and there has been a lot of debate and commentary made on this subject. I have read many posts by my Facebook friends and former classmates that degrades the Christian community and threatens to delete anyone off social media who has the opposite opinion of what they hold. I have read many articles on both sides that are derogatory towards the other. I am truly disappointed and saddened by the hate that is coming from this argument, particularly the pro-LGBT community who proclaim that we should all "Love as Jesus would" yet continue to slander the Christian community for their beliefs.
All of this being said, I have a few things that I would like to share. First and foremost, it is not my intention to slander or hurt anyone. I refuse to be that person that deletes someone simply because I don't like their opinion. However, I hold a completely faith-based opinion of the matter at hand. This topic requires a lot of careful thought, prayer, and research. I have given myself a couple weeks to meditate upon this and this is what I have come to.
I refuse to compromise my beliefs in order to be politically correct. I am a Christian. A practicing, pentecostal-AG Christian. Many people in the Christian community have recently come out to say that they will vote "no" to repeal this amendment because they have, in some way, a connection to the LGBT community. That connection might be a family member, loved one, or perhaps themselves. However, I am here to tell you that the statements made by some of those in the community are downright blasphemous to our faith. Christians are condoning homosexual behavior under the premise that "God created them that way and He does not want them to change." This sort of thinking is sickening to our faith. God, the Creator of all that is good. God who is perfect and created man and woman to be together and proclaimed THAT to be good. That same God that rained hell-fire down on Sodom and Gomorrah for their sexually immoral and homosexual practices. That God doesn't want you to change? I think not.
Everyone is tempted by sin, but where the problem comes in is when we act upon it. Different temptations are presented to different people by the devil, based on where our weaknesses are. In some cases, that is alcohol. In other cases, it is sexual promiscuity. It might be an addiction to pornography or to tobacco. It also includes homosexual practice. It is one thing to be tempted by the flesh of another man or woman, but it is an entirely different ball game once we act upon our temptations. The problem is that our culture, including some in the current Christian culture, likes to think that homosexuality is no longer a sin because times have changed and mankind has adapted. Let me ask my fellow wavering Christians this, then: Why would God be so adamant about restraining oneself against homosexual practice if in a few thousand years it would be allowed? Because it will never be allowed. Here are a few places to prove it.
Leviticus 18:22- "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable."
In this chapter, the Lord spoke to Moses and asked him to warn the Isrealites not to give into the sexually immoral practices taking place in Egypt or Canaan. I encourage everyone to take a look at that list, but the translation is pretty clear. There is literally no other interpretation to be made other than a man will not have sex with another man.
1 Corinthians 7:2- "But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, each woman her own husband."
In this passage, Paul is speaking to the Corinthians about the decision of man to not marry. However, at this time, Corinth is a very sinful place and can often be compared with Christian communities now. Paul was speaking to the Christians in Corinth, who had began to abandon their devotion to Christ in order to achieve a worldly status or materialistic life. The Corinthians were sexually immoral, another point Paul makes. He tells the Corinthians to expel the sexually immoral brother and gives only one example of a man sleeping with his father's wife. However, homosexuality did take place in Corinth. It falls under the category of sexual immorality, along with adultery and sexual relations outside of marriage. In the passage above, Paul once again makes it clear that a man would be with a woman, and that a woman should be with a man.
Mark 10:6-9- "But at the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
This passage deals with divorce and the sacredness of a marriage between a man and a woman. Mark even alludes to how they are compatible as one flesh based on the creation of their bodies by God. By practicing in homosexuality, man separates this sacred bond that God has designed for mankind. One defense that some might use against this is that technically speaking, men could be considered compatible in the flesh. Which brings me to the next passage.
Genesis 19:4-6- "Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom- both young and old- surrounded the house. They called to Lot, 'Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them. Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, 'No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.'"
The context of this passage is that two male angels arrived in the city and took refuge with Lot. The men of the city wanted to sexually abuse these men, angels particularly, and Lot was so horrified by this sin that he even offered his own virgin daughters in place of the angels. The word "sodomy" gets its name from this incident of homosexual practice. Sodomy is repeatedly condemned in the Bible. Since homosexuality is largely based on sodomy, in a man's case, it is pretty clear that the act of homosexual practice is not allowed. Lot is a classic case of a Christian living in and putting up with a sinful community in order to reap the material and social perks. Eventually, God is so furious with Sodom and Gomorrah that he rains down hell-fire upon the city and incinerates it. It is hard to imagine that a God so angered with homosexual practice would want a man who struggles with homosexuality to remain in his sin.
What is my point with all of this? As I have said previously, everyone struggles with temptation. So do I think that just because someone is tempted by homosexual thoughts that they are going to hell? No way. I am tempted every day by various things, yet I do not act upon them. I am lucky enough to have people who keep me accountable and push me to grow in my faith. But there are those in the Christian community who are encouraging those struggling with homosexuality and allowing their brothers to slip farther and farther into sin. Essentially, it is the least "Jesus-like" thing you could do.
Many people, both Christian and non-Christian, proclaim that because we do not condone homosexuality, we are not being Christ-like. The phrase "Love like Jesus would" is being wildly overused and out of context. Yes, Jesus loves you. He loves the homosexuals, he loves the murderers, he loves the felons. But doesn't loving someone also mean wanting the best thing for them? Doesn't it mean wanting them to succeed? Do you think that by condoning homosexual behavior and allowing someone to damn them-self that you are truly loving them? Jesus wants us all to be with him in heaven for eternity. Jesus knows that by sinning over and over again and by never repenting for it that we will not make it into heaven to spend an eternity with him. The thing is that Jesus died so that we would all have that opportunity and by indulging in temptation, we are throwing his sacrifice to the wind. Not only that, by making excuses for our friends and family members who do struggle with homosexuality, we are literally doing the exact opposite of what Jesus would do. That's not loving someone at all.
So yes, I love all of these people. I truly do. I don't want anyone to have to spend an eternity in hell when they could be in heaven with their God and Father. And because I do love them, I refuse to condone their practices in order to be politically correct. I don't want to be a product of this world, nor do I want to lose myself to my culture. It saddens me that so many in the Christian community have done just that: lost themselves and their faith.
So if you ask me, I will vote yes to repeal tomorrow. I believe that private religious institutions have the right to not hire someone if they will not be a positive example for students. If a homosexual professor was hired at Evangel University, they would be coming into contact with students who are still growing their faith everyday. They might even come into contact with students who are struggling with homosexuality, but haven't actually done anything about it yet. That influence could be the difference between a student justifying their temptation or overcoming it. Similarly, I feel that it is a violation of my own personal rights as a woman if a man walks into the women's restroom and goes right next to me. It's not a discrimination against homosexuals, it's an invasion of privacy for those who have female parts. Not only that, the mass amounts of pedophiles and sexual predators who would take advantage of that would be astronomical. It's not that I don't want a homosexual in the stall next to me, it's that I don't want a MAN next to me.
So here is what I would like to leave you with. "Love thy neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment," -Mark 12:31. I would like to encourage all those in the Christian community to do just that. Love your neighbor, friend, or family member that is struggling with their temptation, but love them as you would yourself. Do you want to spend an eternity in hell? Then why would you allow another to send them-self there?
I have not yet shared my faith on social media, something that I should have changed about my social media outreach long ago. However, there is presently an issue that has been weighing very heavily on my heart. By now, many people are familiar with an issue plaguing various parts of the country currently: the issue of repealing the amendment that states that a homosexual may not be turned down for a job by a private or religious institution. Another popular feature of this amendment is that it allows men who sexually identify themselves as a woman may use the women's restroom and vice versa. The pro-repeal group seeks to repeal this amendment that has been set in place, giving back the religious freedom to those private institutions and those who feel uncomfortable with the opposite sex in the bathroom. The anti-repeal group argues that repealing the amendment would be discrimination against homosexuals. The vote takes place tomorrow, and there has been a lot of debate and commentary made on this subject. I have read many posts by my Facebook friends and former classmates that degrades the Christian community and threatens to delete anyone off social media who has the opposite opinion of what they hold. I have read many articles on both sides that are derogatory towards the other. I am truly disappointed and saddened by the hate that is coming from this argument, particularly the pro-LGBT community who proclaim that we should all "Love as Jesus would" yet continue to slander the Christian community for their beliefs.
All of this being said, I have a few things that I would like to share. First and foremost, it is not my intention to slander or hurt anyone. I refuse to be that person that deletes someone simply because I don't like their opinion. However, I hold a completely faith-based opinion of the matter at hand. This topic requires a lot of careful thought, prayer, and research. I have given myself a couple weeks to meditate upon this and this is what I have come to.
I refuse to compromise my beliefs in order to be politically correct. I am a Christian. A practicing, pentecostal-AG Christian. Many people in the Christian community have recently come out to say that they will vote "no" to repeal this amendment because they have, in some way, a connection to the LGBT community. That connection might be a family member, loved one, or perhaps themselves. However, I am here to tell you that the statements made by some of those in the community are downright blasphemous to our faith. Christians are condoning homosexual behavior under the premise that "God created them that way and He does not want them to change." This sort of thinking is sickening to our faith. God, the Creator of all that is good. God who is perfect and created man and woman to be together and proclaimed THAT to be good. That same God that rained hell-fire down on Sodom and Gomorrah for their sexually immoral and homosexual practices. That God doesn't want you to change? I think not.
Everyone is tempted by sin, but where the problem comes in is when we act upon it. Different temptations are presented to different people by the devil, based on where our weaknesses are. In some cases, that is alcohol. In other cases, it is sexual promiscuity. It might be an addiction to pornography or to tobacco. It also includes homosexual practice. It is one thing to be tempted by the flesh of another man or woman, but it is an entirely different ball game once we act upon our temptations. The problem is that our culture, including some in the current Christian culture, likes to think that homosexuality is no longer a sin because times have changed and mankind has adapted. Let me ask my fellow wavering Christians this, then: Why would God be so adamant about restraining oneself against homosexual practice if in a few thousand years it would be allowed? Because it will never be allowed. Here are a few places to prove it.
Leviticus 18:22- "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable."
In this chapter, the Lord spoke to Moses and asked him to warn the Isrealites not to give into the sexually immoral practices taking place in Egypt or Canaan. I encourage everyone to take a look at that list, but the translation is pretty clear. There is literally no other interpretation to be made other than a man will not have sex with another man.
1 Corinthians 7:2- "But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, each woman her own husband."
In this passage, Paul is speaking to the Corinthians about the decision of man to not marry. However, at this time, Corinth is a very sinful place and can often be compared with Christian communities now. Paul was speaking to the Christians in Corinth, who had began to abandon their devotion to Christ in order to achieve a worldly status or materialistic life. The Corinthians were sexually immoral, another point Paul makes. He tells the Corinthians to expel the sexually immoral brother and gives only one example of a man sleeping with his father's wife. However, homosexuality did take place in Corinth. It falls under the category of sexual immorality, along with adultery and sexual relations outside of marriage. In the passage above, Paul once again makes it clear that a man would be with a woman, and that a woman should be with a man.
Mark 10:6-9- "But at the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
This passage deals with divorce and the sacredness of a marriage between a man and a woman. Mark even alludes to how they are compatible as one flesh based on the creation of their bodies by God. By practicing in homosexuality, man separates this sacred bond that God has designed for mankind. One defense that some might use against this is that technically speaking, men could be considered compatible in the flesh. Which brings me to the next passage.
Genesis 19:4-6- "Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom- both young and old- surrounded the house. They called to Lot, 'Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them. Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, 'No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.'"
The context of this passage is that two male angels arrived in the city and took refuge with Lot. The men of the city wanted to sexually abuse these men, angels particularly, and Lot was so horrified by this sin that he even offered his own virgin daughters in place of the angels. The word "sodomy" gets its name from this incident of homosexual practice. Sodomy is repeatedly condemned in the Bible. Since homosexuality is largely based on sodomy, in a man's case, it is pretty clear that the act of homosexual practice is not allowed. Lot is a classic case of a Christian living in and putting up with a sinful community in order to reap the material and social perks. Eventually, God is so furious with Sodom and Gomorrah that he rains down hell-fire upon the city and incinerates it. It is hard to imagine that a God so angered with homosexual practice would want a man who struggles with homosexuality to remain in his sin.
What is my point with all of this? As I have said previously, everyone struggles with temptation. So do I think that just because someone is tempted by homosexual thoughts that they are going to hell? No way. I am tempted every day by various things, yet I do not act upon them. I am lucky enough to have people who keep me accountable and push me to grow in my faith. But there are those in the Christian community who are encouraging those struggling with homosexuality and allowing their brothers to slip farther and farther into sin. Essentially, it is the least "Jesus-like" thing you could do.
Many people, both Christian and non-Christian, proclaim that because we do not condone homosexuality, we are not being Christ-like. The phrase "Love like Jesus would" is being wildly overused and out of context. Yes, Jesus loves you. He loves the homosexuals, he loves the murderers, he loves the felons. But doesn't loving someone also mean wanting the best thing for them? Doesn't it mean wanting them to succeed? Do you think that by condoning homosexual behavior and allowing someone to damn them-self that you are truly loving them? Jesus wants us all to be with him in heaven for eternity. Jesus knows that by sinning over and over again and by never repenting for it that we will not make it into heaven to spend an eternity with him. The thing is that Jesus died so that we would all have that opportunity and by indulging in temptation, we are throwing his sacrifice to the wind. Not only that, by making excuses for our friends and family members who do struggle with homosexuality, we are literally doing the exact opposite of what Jesus would do. That's not loving someone at all.
So yes, I love all of these people. I truly do. I don't want anyone to have to spend an eternity in hell when they could be in heaven with their God and Father. And because I do love them, I refuse to condone their practices in order to be politically correct. I don't want to be a product of this world, nor do I want to lose myself to my culture. It saddens me that so many in the Christian community have done just that: lost themselves and their faith.
So if you ask me, I will vote yes to repeal tomorrow. I believe that private religious institutions have the right to not hire someone if they will not be a positive example for students. If a homosexual professor was hired at Evangel University, they would be coming into contact with students who are still growing their faith everyday. They might even come into contact with students who are struggling with homosexuality, but haven't actually done anything about it yet. That influence could be the difference between a student justifying their temptation or overcoming it. Similarly, I feel that it is a violation of my own personal rights as a woman if a man walks into the women's restroom and goes right next to me. It's not a discrimination against homosexuals, it's an invasion of privacy for those who have female parts. Not only that, the mass amounts of pedophiles and sexual predators who would take advantage of that would be astronomical. It's not that I don't want a homosexual in the stall next to me, it's that I don't want a MAN next to me.
So here is what I would like to leave you with. "Love thy neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment," -Mark 12:31. I would like to encourage all those in the Christian community to do just that. Love your neighbor, friend, or family member that is struggling with their temptation, but love them as you would yourself. Do you want to spend an eternity in hell? Then why would you allow another to send them-self there?
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Because sometimes life gets in the way...
Hello there. Long time, no see. Or rather, should I say blog?
Yes, yes. I am a victim of the infamous blogger wasteland where we bloggers hideout for weeks, sometimes months at a time while our blogs remain barren. Why, you may ask? What could cause me to desert my cause? Why would I abandon my literary practice?
Because life happens.
We all have those days where we just can't seem to get it right. We try to make things fit where we want them to, and we fail miserably. We try to find the time to do everything we need to do, yet there is never enough time in the day. Sadly, my friends, life gets in the way. Whether it's a job, or class (midterms were brutal, in case you were wondering), or trying to find extra time to see our friends, we eventually have to make sacrifices. Sometimes that means going weeks without seeing our friends or getting no sleep before a huge test. In my case, it means neglecting my blog. I apologize, but I am only human. In a perfect world, we would not have to spend time driving, or putting on makeup, or working out. We could use that time meaningfully. We could cuddle with our boyfriends without absentmindedly worrying about our French quiz the next morning. Until that day arrives, though, I will forever be addicted to Starbucks lattes, perpetually late to my classes, and occasionally neglectful to my homework.
As the french would say, laissez-faire!
Yes, yes. I am a victim of the infamous blogger wasteland where we bloggers hideout for weeks, sometimes months at a time while our blogs remain barren. Why, you may ask? What could cause me to desert my cause? Why would I abandon my literary practice?
Because life happens.
We all have those days where we just can't seem to get it right. We try to make things fit where we want them to, and we fail miserably. We try to find the time to do everything we need to do, yet there is never enough time in the day. Sadly, my friends, life gets in the way. Whether it's a job, or class (midterms were brutal, in case you were wondering), or trying to find extra time to see our friends, we eventually have to make sacrifices. Sometimes that means going weeks without seeing our friends or getting no sleep before a huge test. In my case, it means neglecting my blog. I apologize, but I am only human. In a perfect world, we would not have to spend time driving, or putting on makeup, or working out. We could use that time meaningfully. We could cuddle with our boyfriends without absentmindedly worrying about our French quiz the next morning. Until that day arrives, though, I will forever be addicted to Starbucks lattes, perpetually late to my classes, and occasionally neglectful to my homework.
As the french would say, laissez-faire!
Monday, February 2, 2015
Because choosing a graduate program is complicated...
Desperation. Panic. Fear.
These are all the emotions commonly felt when reaching back into that small corner of your mind reserved for graduate school. Most people have a hard time deciding what to do with themselves for their undergraduate degree, let alone their graduate degree. All the sudden you hit junior year and then everyone is all, "So where are you doing your masters?" and "Have you taken the GRE yet? I got my scores back last week!" I mean, that's great for them but I am just happy that I made it through finals week without overdosing on caffeine and Vitamin C. Who says I even want to go to grad school? I have already been in school for 16 years, what makes you think I want to do another 3 years?
Unfortunately, we live in a world where the Bachelor's degree is the new GED. Having a Bachelor's no longer guarantees a job after graduation and more than a few college graduates are finding themselves without jobs. What is a young hopeful to do other than look into getting their graduate degree? I know that since my sophomore year that I've been having breakdowns at least twice a semester worrying about whether or not I'm on the right track, am I meeting the requirements, how many other people will I be competing with for a spot, and so on. Add that tension to the surprising number of schools that don't carry my desired program and you have a recipe for a well-paid therapist.
However, it was during one of these breakdown sessions that I was having in a meeting with my academic advisor when she brought something to my attention that might have saved my academic life: as an English major, I have the freedom to specialize in virtually anything I want in my masters. Say I go into Public Health for my masters; what good does this do me? Well, I already have a background in writing and analysis. With a masters in Public Health, I could write up health reports or write published articles for hospitals in order for them to keep their credibility. This scenario doesn't just work for English majors though; it can be applied to virtually any major. Say you earned an Engineering degree in your undergraduate; get your masters in writing and become a technical writer. Maybe you have a business degree and thought you would get a business masters; instead try getting your degree in design or health sciences and you could have the opportunity to run something that is more than just your field. By crossing your undergraduate and your masters, you open yourself up to a whole new world of possibilities. When you cross-specialize, you become infinitely more valuable in the workplace.
This sounds so simple that it seems unreal, but it never occurred to me before talking with my advisor. Her experienced perspective is what has guided me through my entire academic career and once again she has saved the day. So if you're like me and you don't quite know where you're going for grad school, I encourage you to consider your options. Just because you're and English major doesn't mean you have to get another Literature or Writing degree. Just because you're a Biology major doesn't mean you have to continue on into the science field. Consider your options, talk to your superiors, and just breathe.
We'll get through this together.
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